Subject:   [adventure!] Expensive beaurocracy?! Phuket! I'm going to Thailand! 

Date:   4/28/2004 12:52:39 PM

 

 

 

 

Russian Visa: $100 US + letter from consulate

Chinese Visa: $40 US + letter from consulate

Letter from consulate: $70 US

Freedom to change plans at the drop of a hat: priceless.

 

Folks, the Russians and the Chinese don't want me to visit them. They have

made this abundantly clear by charging too much for their visas. Also, when

I visited the Russian consulate in Istanbul the guard, who was carrying a

gun, on hearing that I was a psychology teacher, confessed that he had

psychological problems. When I asked 'Is this where I get a Russian visa?',

he said 'In 10 minutes, I will eat lunch!'. Y'alright then.

 

In case you are wondering, a flight from Istanbul to Bangkok costs $284, $4

more than visas.

 

Today I am in Selcuk, a small Australian city on the West coast of Turkey.

Turkey has been invaded (successfully and completely) by Aussies and Kiwis

who are here to drink beer in celebration of an earlier (failed) attempt to

invade Turkey. The Turkish people celebrate Anzac Day by programming their

carpet salesmen to say 'G'day mate' to every man, woman and dog that walks

past their shop, with a glazed look on their face like carpet-selling

robots.

 

Selcuk is the nearest town to Efes (aka Ephesus), an ancient city which is

now a spectacularly well-preserved collection of ruins. After visiting the

Church of Mary (Mary supposedly relocated to Ephesus after her son was

nailed to a cross), I took a walk through some dewey underbrush, toward some

other ruins that looked as if they were off limits only to visitors who

weren't willing to walk through the wet underbrush. I just happened to look

down before stepping on a really interesting-looking stick. It was a brown,

curvy stick with scales, and about 2 metres long.

 

Oh, I said, I think that stick might be a snake. That's when my traveller's

instincts kicked in. Well, that's when they would have kicked in. In fact,

as you have read in my earlier messages, my natural instincts would probably

have been to reach down and pick the thing up. But ah! as I mentioned, I am

surrounded by aussies, which meant my 'Crocodile Hunter' instincts kicked in

instead and I decided to merely irritate the snake by poking it with a

stick. Poke, poke. Ah, I think in true Steve Irwin style, it's playing

dead. Better go in for the kick! Before I could kick the snake (I love that

phrase), it slithered away alive.

 

There are so many other things I should tell you about. Most of them

involve food. I can tell you that the current state of my beard is a chin

goatee with no moustache and no 'soul patch'. I can also tell you that all

of the configurations of my beard have been deeply distressing to the

Turkish public, who stare and stare, sometimes with giggles but often with a

look of ... well, distress, as if they are watching someone slaughter a

baby bunny in some kind of religious ceremony they don't agree with.

 

Well, I'm off to watch the sun set over an ancient place.

 

jay

 

Next stops: Fethiye, Olympos, ...